Marcus has the charisma of a stick. He spends his spare time gnawing on bricks, Silly Putty, and 60-carbon Bucky Balls. An accomplished sousaphone player, he is forced to pound out drum beats 4 to a measure. The last to join the band, he's paranoid and unstable. His train of thought has been robbed of its valuables on many occasions. He can't hear the word "pianist" without giggling. He cheated his way to a 136 on his SAT. He thinks that Polio is a game played with horses. Worst of all, he chews on tape. I swear to god.